Why I [Still] Hate Daycare

Why I [Still] Hate Daycare

I like to believe that I am a caring parent.  When I look at my child, I feel such an overpowering love. So powerful that I experience a shift within my core.  It’s not just me that feels this way though,  I know this is also true for my wife. I sometimes wonder if we have gone too far making our daughter the center of our lives, the crux of our days and our nights.  We adore our daughter and probably spoil her with our time and attention. There are countless studies that have been done that tell you to make sure that you don’t forget to keep your marriage at the forefront.  Now don’t get me wrong, my wife and I still attend social gatherings, throw occasional parties and every now and again get, ahem, romantic-like.  Lately, I have been wondering if this devotion of attention to our daughter is having implications on our relationship as a married couple.  That discussion, however, will have to wait until another time.  What is really on my mind and that has sparked the passive aggressive writer in me is the lack of respect  other parents show one another.

An event has recently unfolded in my household and is currently testing my resolve as a parent and as a husband.  Quite honestly it has taken every shred of self control to not just write a abusive letter or just show up and give the director of our daughters school a serious tongue lashing.  You see, my daughter has a viral sickness that she picked up, without question, at her daycare.  There is no need to be alarmed as it is not a life threatening illness.  Still, this has been a very trying time for me and my wife as it has pushed my relationship with my wife to an uncharted area.  This situation has also validated my opinion on sending my daughter to daycare where irresponsible parents seem to not care for others’ welfare and put their needs above others.

Those closest to me know that I have never been the most patient person. Even though I try to  show compassion, I often jump down peoples’ throats or have freak outs – this is how I cope when I get scared about a specific instance and can’t handle it well.   I have been working on this shortcoming for the past two years, as patience is a needed virtue when one has a child.  But with my little girl being ill, I feel myself needing some type of support group for the anger and terror that I feel running through me at this moment.  I am not sure where my anger is coming from or where it should be directed.  I just know that it is there.

In an effort to make sense of my anger, I will try to describe my situation.

Two weeks ago we received an email from our daycare. The email is written in “cute” comic sans…fuck you comic sans…in an effort to lighten the severity of the message.  This “cute, happily worded” email stated that there had been a “limited breakout” of Coxsackie Virus.  It went on to reassure us as to how the classroom had been professionally cleaned twice-a-week since the breakout (bullshit) and how they are being cleaned daily by the staff (underpaid college girls).  I’ve watched them clean once.  If you want an infected children’s playroom room cleaned effectively you need to hire a mother with four fucking children who knows a thing or two about getting shit clean. (Need. To. Calm. Down.) #Bleachablemoments

grwon man

I digress. We watch our daughter…and we wait…and nothing happens.  We are elated that we dodged the Coxsackie bullet and cheered our adult beverages to the upcoming weekend of birthday excitement. (Oh yeah, I forgot to mention it was our daughter’s 2nd birthday. We had parties planned and food ordered/made.) Unfortunately, we celebrated a little too soon.

 

It began innocent enough with drooling.  We thought, “Well, she is 2 years old now, maybe the molars are coming in?” “Yeah, it’s the molars. She keeps reaching in her mouth.”  Then, all of a sudden, it happened; the floodgates opened and all hell broke loose.  What followed was 48-hours of excruciating pain for my poor little girl – a fever over 104.8, mouth sores the size of nickels, lesions on her hands and feet, headaches, sore throat, an inability to drink, eat, sleep and soothe herself. Worse, there was nothing we, as parents could do to soothe her pain or her fear. My wife Lisa and I were more scared than anything. We teetered at the front door not sure if a trip to the ER was needed.   We watched helplessly as our little princess writhed in pain.  We tried anything and everything to take her aches away.  We held her, massaged her, applied cool compresses, anything we could think of we did.  Our fear quickly turned to anger and blame.

sick girl
Not my daughter….but she looks sick and sad

Slowly though, it began to wear on us.  The hours blurred together, the sound of crying and whimpering become all we heard.  I tried to escape the sounds of her pain but they were echoing in my ears.  I kept telling myself, “She needs you to be her daddy, to hold her and make it alright.”  It worked for a little while.  I’d sack up again and did my best. I would hold her and rub her head and back while singing “Twinkle Twinkle”.   Looking back on the experience as a whole, the mistake that my wife and I made was that we didn’t take care of her in shifts.  This lead to us being worn out at the same time. We were her only line of defense and we were being destroyed by the passing hours, by the onslaught of cries and screams, and by our inability to be able to help our daughter.

Slowly, my patience ran out and I began grabbing onto anything to help me keep my sanity. (If I had enough hair, I would have pulled some out.) The constant screams of pain and fear coming from my little girl drove me mad.  It was like a bad trip man – I just needed it to end.  Eventually I broke down and I started going after my wife.  I didn’t mean what I said and I honestly can’t believe I said what I said.  I thought, “What an asshole you are! How can you be so insensitive to your own wife?”  Not only that, but I found myself starting to lose my cool with my kid.  That was the most scary part of it all.  I can make up with my wife because adults fight and can rationalize the circumstances under which they were fighting about.  (Well, most adults.)  It’s different with kids, especially that young.  I mean what kind of animal yells at a sick child?  Luckily, it never got to that point.  It was the first time that I have ever experienced such a sleep-deprived state with an extremely sick child – shit got real, and quick.

While my little lady still isn’t feeling 100%, the situation is much better.  The virus is retreating and we are slowly getting back our daughter, and our sanity.  We are even able to sleep.  And as I reflect on this experience, I realize what I need to work on as a parent – patience and more patience.  I have also been able to reflect on what I have done well: I’m a great cuddler and can sing “soft kitty” and “twinkle, twinkle” really well for a looooong time.  I know that if I just focus on the shitty things this blog wouldn’t be worth writing and I would be perceived as a monster, which I know I am not.  Having a child is one of the most rewarding things I have ever experienced, yet it is also one of the scariest.  The trials one goes through with a child can make one push themselves to unknown limits and it can also make the good better.

Looking at the good also helps me to see the good in others.  I know that I couldn’t have done this all on my own.  Lisa was a rock.  Her compassion was second to none, and I can learn a thing or two from her on patience.  Although we both had our moments where we wavered, we were able to hold strong and beat this moment of fear and uncertainty together.  I still am a D-bag for some of the things that were said in the “heat of the moment” but I just hope that she will forgive me.

Keep your sick kid home please
Keep your sick kid home please

However, having a sick child is a responsibility that all parents have to deal with, and a large one at that. Not only is it a parental responsibility, but it is also a communal responsibility.  This means that one should not shirk their responsibility by loading a contagious, and seriously ill child up with OTC medicine before dumping them into daycare or any school/public environment. This act is selfish and irresponsible.  It is these sick children that expose other young children, and even the poor teachers, to flu’s and viruses that could be contained and otherwise avoided.   Of course, there are exceptions.  The common cold, sniffles, even a sore throat and cough can be looked past and begrudgingly understood by other parents and accepted as “ok”.  It is when the illness goes beyond the “routine” and the implications are far more severe.

Maybe its time foDBAGr some parents to get a refresher in common courtesy? Or possibly better, an ass whooping from a parent who is damn tired of their kid getting sick because they suck at taking responsibility?  These are the same A-hole parent that goes to work sick and gets all their co-workers sick.  Kudos to you!  You are the D-bag parent of the year!

(I have thought of the extreme possibilities of single-parent homes or the poverty-stricken parents with sick children who could lose their job if they miss work. These are exceptions but I do not think this is the case every time a child is sick.)  Even if these cases were the norm, I don’t believe that it should allow for this behavior and the disregard for the safety of others.  What are we teaching our children at the same time?  Are we telling them that it is OK to disregard the safety of others and to put others in harms way because, essentially, we can?

yuNO
I am sure that I may have upset some people with this article.  But this entry is my attempt to reflect and explore a horrible moment that my family had just experienced for the first time. It is not an attack on any parent, but rather from a parent who is frustrated and scared for what may be the next illness my daughter gets because someone chose to “dose and drop”.  This is an experience that could have been avoided if responsibility had been taken.  If nothing else I hope you, the reader, take the time next time your child is ill to stop and think about if your child is too sick to go to school.  And if you really don’t care about the other children or teachers at least think about your child most likely becoming more ill than they already are. My heart goes out to all parents and guardians who experience moments like these, and those that live with illnesses that cannot be treated with Tylenol, patience, and cuddles.  I know that many more families live with the challenges of a chronically ill child, and that my situation pales in comparison.  However that is not the point of this article so please realize that I do know and sympathize with those who are living with those extremes.

sick daycare

 

0 Responses

  1. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Thanks a lot, I enjoy this.
    https://www.cialismim.com/
    testimonios de personas que usaron cialis
    cheap cialis
    cialis filmdragerad
    buy cialis online

  2. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Amazing loads of very good info!
    http://cialismsnrx.com/
    what to expect when taking cialis
    cialis without a doctor prescription
    cialis 20 mg price cvs
    cialis without a doctor prescription

  3. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    This is nicely expressed. .
    http://cialisttk.com/
    dosagem de cialis
    generic cialis
    green shield cialis
    cheap cialis

  4. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Seriously tons of amazing knowledge!
    http://cialisttk.com/
    cialis price in canada
    cialis generic
    cialis and prostate hypertrophy
    cialis online

  5. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Really a good deal of great knowledge!
    http://cialisttk.com/
    effect cialis blood pressure
    cheap cialis
    costo farmaco cialis
    cialis online

  6. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Superb material. Regards!
    https://www.cialisfidel.com/
    cialis 20 mg filmtabletta
    cialis 20mg
    cialis trotz bluthochdruck
    buy cialis online

  7. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Thanks a lot, Lots of content!

    https://www.cialismim.com/
    donde comprar cialis en guadalajara
    cialis 20mg
    venta de cialis en mexico df
    cheap cialis

  8. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    You explained that perfectly!
    http://cialismsnntx.com/
    vendo cialis contrareembolso
    cialis without a doctor prescription
    can you take cialis with l arginine
    cialis 20 mg

  9. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    You actually said that effectively.
    http://cialismsnrx.com/
    what will happen if a woman takes cialis
    cialis online
    opiniao cialis
    cheap cialis

  10. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Very good postings. Cheers!
    https://www.cialismim.com/
    viagra mД± levitra mД± cialis mi
    cheap cialis
    cialis é bom para o coração
    generic cialis

  11. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    You actually said that superbly!
    http://cialismsnntx.com/
    cialis qual dosagem
    cialis 20 mg
    ou acheter du cialis original
    cialis online

  12. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Regards, Valuable information!
    https://www.cialismim.com/
    cialis and proviron
    cialis without a doctor prescription
    cialis muadili abdi ibrahim
    cheap cialis

  13. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Nicely voiced really! .
    https://www.cialisfidel.com/
    cialis pain in legs
    generic cialis
    se puede mezclar cialis con sildenafil
    cialis generic

  14. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    You actually revealed it perfectly!
    http://cialispego.com/
    what does cialis tablets do
    cialis 20 mg
    duracion de cialis
    cialis 20mg

  15. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Thanks, Useful stuff!
    http://cialismsnntx.com/
    instructions for use of cialis
    buy cialis online
    cara pakai cialis 50mg
    cialis online

  16. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Beneficial facts. Many thanks!
    http://cialismsnrx.com/
    cialis vs flomax
    generic cialis
    what strength cialis dosage
    generic cialis

  17. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Thanks, I like it.
    http://cialisttk.com/
    prices for cialis 5mg
    cialis online
    can cialis cause low blood pressure
    buy cialis online

  18. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Amazing forum posts. Cheers!
    http://cialispego.com/
    cialis jersey
    cialis online
    potenzmittel cialis erfahrungen
    cialis online

  19. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Wow lots of amazing material!
    https://www.cialisfidel.com/
    cialis kiedy brac
    cialis 20 mg
    cialis generique femme
    cialis 20mg

  20. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Seriously all kinds of useful info!
    https://www.cialisfidel.com/
    cialis lowest price canada
    cialis 20 mg
    cialis dose timing
    buy cialis online

  21. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Truly many of helpful tips!
    http://cialismsnrx.com/
    cialis 5mg price in dubai
    cialis online
    cialis i danmark
    cialis without a doctor prescription

  22. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Fantastic knowledge. Kudos!
    http://cialispego.com/
    cipla cialis review
    cialis 20 mg
    cialis en ligne legal
    cialis 20 mg

  23. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    With thanks, Helpful stuff!
    https://www.cialismim.com/
    where do you buy cialis in canada
    generic cialis
    cialis ce este
    cialis online

  24. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Awesome content. Thanks a lot.
    https://www.cialismim.com/
    cialis and viagra used together
    buy cialis online
    dosage cialis 36 hour
    cheap cialis

  25. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    With thanks! A lot of postings!

    http://cialismsnrx.com/
    differences between cialis and viagra
    cheap cialis
    how many days can you take cialis
    cialis generic

  26. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Really a lot of valuable material.
    https://www.cialisfidel.com/
    difference between cialis and kamagra
    cialis generic
    cialis is not working for me
    cialis generic

  27. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Amazing material. Thank you.
    https://www.cialisfidel.com/
    800 number for cialis
    generic cialis
    cialis bestellen in duitsland
    cialis without a doctor prescription

  28. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Thank you. I like this!
    http://cialismsnntx.com/
    daily use cialis for bph
    buy cialis online
    cialis et les femmes
    cialis 20 mg

  29. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Perfectly voiced really! !
    http://cialismsnrx.com/
    vendo cialis en madrid
    cialis online
    liquid cialis recipe
    cheap cialis

  30. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Seriously all kinds of good knowledge!
    https://www.cialismim.com/
    how many mg of cialis do i need
    cialis without a doctor prescription
    cialis use directions
    cialis generic

  31. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Incredible quite a lot of useful information!
    http://cialisttk.com/
    why does cialis hurt your back
    cialis without a doctor prescription
    viagra e cialis a confronto
    cialis online

  32. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    This is nicely expressed! !
    https://www.cialismim.com/
    cialis at 30 years old
    cialis without a doctor prescription
    cialis per uso quotidiano
    cialis without a doctor prescription

  33. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Great info. Many thanks.
    https://www.cialisfidel.com/
    how long do you stay hard on cialis
    buy cialis online
    cialis and male infertility
    cialis 20mg

  34. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Thank you! Loads of data!

    http://cialismsnrx.com/
    cialis 5 mg once day
    cialis 20mg
    cialis effective time
    cheap cialis

  35. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    This is nicely expressed! .
    http://cialispego.com/
    cialis tadalafil reviews
    generic cialis
    cialis 20mg wirkt nicht
    cialis online

  36. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Thanks a lot! I appreciate it!
    http://cialispego.com/
    when does cialis patent expire
    cialis 20mg
    phlГ©bite et cialis
    cialis 20mg

  37. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    You actually said it exceptionally well!
    https://www.cialisfidel.com/
    buying cialis online scams
    cialis generic
    popular pills online compra cialis italy
    cialis generic

  38. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Incredible a good deal of awesome facts.
    https://www.cialisfidel.com/
    cialis and prozac interaction
    cialis 20mg
    cialis 300 mg 30 tablet
    cialis without a doctor prescription

  39. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Beneficial info. Thanks a lot.
    https://www.cialismim.com/
    does cialis need prescription
    buy cialis online
    homemade cialis
    cheap cialis

  40. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Kudos, Lots of info.

    https://www.cialismim.com/
    generic name for cialis
    buy cialis online
    levitra mД± cialis mi forum
    cialis generic

  41. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    You suggested this wonderfully.
    https://www.cialisfidel.com/
    which one is cheaper viagra or cialis
    cheap cialis
    cialis y glaucoma
    cialis without a doctor prescription

  42. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Thank you. Useful information.
    http://cialisttk.com/
    what is the best cialis dosage
    buy cialis online
    co je lepsie viagra alebo cialis
    cialis online

  43. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Appreciate it. Lots of information.

    http://cialispego.com/
    cialis yorumlari
    cialis 20 mg
    la prise de cialis
    cialis online

  44. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Position certainly regarded..
    http://cialismsnntx.com/
    cialis prix quebec
    generic cialis
    cialis 5 mg generico en espaГ±a
    cialis 20 mg

  45. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Excellent material. Many thanks!
    https://www.cialismim.com/
    cialis perigos
    cialis online
    diferença entre viagra levitra ou cialis
    cialis generic

  46. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Truly quite a lot of fantastic tips.
    https://www.cialisfidel.com/
    comparar viagra levitra cialis
    cheap cialis
    cialis y el corazon
    generic cialis

  47. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Fantastic info. Regards!
    http://cialismsnntx.com/
    cialis severe side effects
    buy cialis online
    agen resmi cialis
    buy cialis online

  48. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    You explained it perfectly.
    http://cialispego.com/
    taking cialis into dubai
    buy cialis online
    cialis generika 20mg
    cialis online

  49. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Amazing plenty of wonderful facts!
    http://cialismsnrx.com/
    generic cialis uk suppliers
    cialis 20mg
    vendita on line cialis generico
    generic cialis

  50. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Amazing tons of helpful information.
    http://cialismsnrx.com/
    aetna insurance cialis
    cialis generic
    directions for use of cialis
    cialis 20 mg

  51. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Appreciate it! Quite a lot of tips!

    https://www.cialisfidel.com/
    ou acheter cialis en toute sГ©curitГ©
    cialis generic
    doctissimo acheter cialis
    cialis generic

  52. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Lovely content, With thanks!
    http://cialisttk.com/
    cialis at boots price
    cialis online
    cialis and alcohol symptoms
    generic cialis

  53. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Cheers, Valuable information.
    http://cialispego.com/
    cialis einnahmemenge
    cialis 20 mg
    which is more potent cialis or viagra
    cialis 20mg

  54. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    You expressed this wonderfully.
    https://www.cialisfidel.com/
    premature ejaculation on cialis
    generic cialis
    recommended dosage of cialis
    cialis online

  55. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Wow tons of superb tips.
    https://www.cialisfidel.com/
    propeciahelp cialis
    buy cialis online
    cialis lilly deutschland
    buy cialis online

  56. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    You’ve made your position quite nicely..
    http://cialispego.com/
    cialis starting dosage
    cialis 20 mg
    verträglichkeit von cialis
    cheap cialis

  57. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    With thanks! Numerous material.

    http://cialismsnrx.com/
    buy cialis in vancouver
    cialis without a doctor prescription
    best substitute for cialis
    cialis 20 mg

  58. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    You actually reported that effectively.
    http://cialisttk.com/
    cialis preço pt
    generic cialis
    cialis dose recomendada
    cheap cialis

  59. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Factor well used!.
    http://cialispego.com/
    forum cialis pas cher
    cialis 20mg
    kombination cialis levitra
    cialis without a doctor prescription

  60. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    You definitely made the point.
    http://cialismsnntx.com/
    cialis v levitra v viagra
    cialis without a doctor prescription
    cialis 2 5 g
    cheap cialis

  61. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Superb information. Regards!
    http://cialismsnntx.com/
    per quanto tempo si puГІ assumere cialis
    generic cialis
    cialis se puede tomar diario
    generic cialis

  62. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Good stuff, Regards!
    http://cialisttk.com/
    lowest price for cialis
    cialis 20mg
    can cialis be split in half
    cheap cialis

  63. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Terrific postings. Thanks.
    http://cialisttk.com/
    comparison of cialis viagra and levitra
    generic cialis
    cialis rezeptfrei kaufen länder
    cialis generic

  64. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Beneficial content. Regards.
    http://cialismsnntx.com/
    cialis wirkt nach
    cialis 20 mg
    cialis donde la venden
    cialis without a doctor prescription

  65. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Fantastic forum posts. Cheers.
    http://cialisttk.com/
    taking cialis and steroids
    cialis generic
    cialis afecta esperma
    cialis online

  66. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    This is nicely put! .
    http://cialisttk.com/
    cialis bph insurance coverage
    cialis 20mg
    pharmacie pas cher paris cialis
    buy cialis online

  67. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Many thanks, I value this.
    http://cialisttk.com/
    cialis 20 bula
    cialis generic
    quien ha tomado cialis
    cialis 20mg

Leave a Reply