![Why I [Still] Hate Daycare](http://deliriousdadd.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/i-aint-going-back-to-daycare.jpg)
I like to believe that I am a caring parent. When I look at my child, I feel such an overpowering love. So powerful that I experience a shift within my core. It’s not just me that feels this way though, I know this is also true for my wife. I sometimes wonder if we have gone too far making our daughter the center of our lives, the crux of our days and our nights. We adore our daughter and probably spoil her with our time and attention. There are countless studies that have been done that tell you to make sure that you don’t forget to keep your marriage at the forefront. Now don’t get me wrong, my wife and I still attend social gatherings, throw occasional parties and every now and again get, ahem, romantic-like. Lately, I have been wondering if this devotion of attention to our daughter is having implications on our relationship as a married couple. That discussion, however, will have to wait until another time. What is really on my mind and that has sparked the passive aggressive writer in me is the lack of respect other parents show one another.
An event has recently unfolded in my household and is currently testing my resolve as a parent and as a husband. Quite honestly it has taken every shred of self control to not just write a abusive letter or just show up and give the director of our daughters school a serious tongue lashing. You see, my daughter has a viral sickness that she picked up, without question, at her daycare. There is no need to be alarmed as it is not a life threatening illness. Still, this has been a very trying time for me and my wife as it has pushed my relationship with my wife to an uncharted area. This situation has also validated my opinion on sending my daughter to daycare where irresponsible parents seem to not care for others’ welfare and put their needs above others.
Those closest to me know that I have never been the most patient person. Even though I try to show compassion, I often jump down peoples’ throats or have freak outs – this is how I cope when I get scared about a specific instance and can’t handle it well. I have been working on this shortcoming for the past two years, as patience is a needed virtue when one has a child. But with my little girl being ill, I feel myself needing some type of support group for the anger and terror that I feel running through me at this moment. I am not sure where my anger is coming from or where it should be directed. I just know that it is there.
In an effort to make sense of my anger, I will try to describe my situation.
Two weeks ago we received an email from our daycare. The email is written in “cute” comic sans…fuck you comic sans…in an effort to lighten the severity of the message. This “cute, happily worded” email stated that there had been a “limited breakout” of Coxsackie Virus. It went on to reassure us as to how the classroom had been professionally cleaned twice-a-week since the breakout (bullshit) and how they are being cleaned daily by the staff (underpaid college girls). I’ve watched them clean once. If you want an infected children’s playroom room cleaned effectively you need to hire a mother with four fucking children who knows a thing or two about getting shit clean. (Need. To. Calm. Down.) #Bleachablemoments
I digress. We watch our daughter…and we wait…and nothing happens. We are elated that we dodged the Coxsackie bullet and cheered our adult beverages to the upcoming weekend of birthday excitement. (Oh yeah, I forgot to mention it was our daughter’s 2nd birthday. We had parties planned and food ordered/made.) Unfortunately, we celebrated a little too soon.
It began innocent enough with drooling. We thought, “Well, she is 2 years old now, maybe the molars are coming in?” “Yeah, it’s the molars. She keeps reaching in her mouth.” Then, all of a sudden, it happened; the floodgates opened and all hell broke loose. What followed was 48-hours of excruciating pain for my poor little girl – a fever over 104.8, mouth sores the size of nickels, lesions on her hands and feet, headaches, sore throat, an inability to drink, eat, sleep and soothe herself. Worse, there was nothing we, as parents could do to soothe her pain or her fear. My wife Lisa and I were more scared than anything. We teetered at the front door not sure if a trip to the ER was needed. We watched helplessly as our little princess writhed in pain. We tried anything and everything to take her aches away. We held her, massaged her, applied cool compresses, anything we could think of we did. Our fear quickly turned to anger and blame.
Slowly though, it began to wear on us. The hours blurred together, the sound of crying and whimpering become all we heard. I tried to escape the sounds of her pain but they were echoing in my ears. I kept telling myself, “She needs you to be her daddy, to hold her and make it alright.” It worked for a little while. I’d sack up again and did my best. I would hold her and rub her head and back while singing “Twinkle Twinkle”. Looking back on the experience as a whole, the mistake that my wife and I made was that we didn’t take care of her in shifts. This lead to us being worn out at the same time. We were her only line of defense and we were being destroyed by the passing hours, by the onslaught of cries and screams, and by our inability to be able to help our daughter.
Slowly, my patience ran out and I began grabbing onto anything to help me keep my sanity. (If I had enough hair, I would have pulled some out.) The constant screams of pain and fear coming from my little girl drove me mad. It was like a bad trip man – I just needed it to end. Eventually I broke down and I started going after my wife. I didn’t mean what I said and I honestly can’t believe I said what I said. I thought, “What an asshole you are! How can you be so insensitive to your own wife?” Not only that, but I found myself starting to lose my cool with my kid. That was the most scary part of it all. I can make up with my wife because adults fight and can rationalize the circumstances under which they were fighting about. (Well, most adults.) It’s different with kids, especially that young. I mean what kind of animal yells at a sick child? Luckily, it never got to that point. It was the first time that I have ever experienced such a sleep-deprived state with an extremely sick child – shit got real, and quick.
While my little lady still isn’t feeling 100%, the situation is much better. The virus is retreating and we are slowly getting back our daughter, and our sanity. We are even able to sleep. And as I reflect on this experience, I realize what I need to work on as a parent – patience and more patience. I have also been able to reflect on what I have done well: I’m a great cuddler and can sing “soft kitty” and “twinkle, twinkle” really well for a looooong time. I know that if I just focus on the shitty things this blog wouldn’t be worth writing and I would be perceived as a monster, which I know I am not. Having a child is one of the most rewarding things I have ever experienced, yet it is also one of the scariest. The trials one goes through with a child can make one push themselves to unknown limits and it can also make the good better.
Looking at the good also helps me to see the good in others. I know that I couldn’t have done this all on my own. Lisa was a rock. Her compassion was second to none, and I can learn a thing or two from her on patience. Although we both had our moments where we wavered, we were able to hold strong and beat this moment of fear and uncertainty together. I still am a D-bag for some of the things that were said in the “heat of the moment” but I just hope that she will forgive me.
However, having a sick child is a responsibility that all parents have to deal with, and a large one at that. Not only is it a parental responsibility, but it is also a communal responsibility. This means that one should not shirk their responsibility by loading a contagious, and seriously ill child up with OTC medicine before dumping them into daycare or any school/public environment. This act is selfish and irresponsible. It is these sick children that expose other young children, and even the poor teachers, to flu’s and viruses that could be contained and otherwise avoided. Of course, there are exceptions. The common cold, sniffles, even a sore throat and cough can be looked past and begrudgingly understood by other parents and accepted as “ok”. It is when the illness goes beyond the “routine” and the implications are far more severe.
Maybe its time fo
r some parents to get a refresher in common courtesy? Or possibly better, an ass whooping from a parent who is damn tired of their kid getting sick because they suck at taking responsibility? These are the same A-hole parent that goes to work sick and gets all their co-workers sick. Kudos to you! You are the D-bag parent of the year!
(I have thought of the extreme possibilities of single-parent homes or the poverty-stricken parents with sick children who could lose their job if they miss work. These are exceptions but I do not think this is the case every time a child is sick.) Even if these cases were the norm, I don’t believe that it should allow for this behavior and the disregard for the safety of others. What are we teaching our children at the same time? Are we telling them that it is OK to disregard the safety of others and to put others in harms way because, essentially, we can?
I am sure that I may have upset some people with this article. But this entry is my attempt to reflect and explore a horrible moment that my family had just experienced for the first time. It is not an attack on any parent, but rather from a parent who is frustrated and scared for what may be the next illness my daughter gets because someone chose to “dose and drop”. This is an experience that could have been avoided if responsibility had been taken. If nothing else I hope you, the reader, take the time next time your child is ill to stop and think about if your child is too sick to go to school. And if you really don’t care about the other children or teachers at least think about your child most likely becoming more ill than they already are. My heart goes out to all parents and guardians who experience moments like these, and those that live with illnesses that cannot be treated with Tylenol, patience, and cuddles. I know that many more families live with the challenges of a chronically ill child, and that my situation pales in comparison. However that is not the point of this article so please realize that I do know and sympathize with those who are living with those extremes.
0 Responses
HowardGow
You mentioned it really well.
http://canadianpharmacysilo.com/
meds online
canada pharmacy
24 hour pharmacy
canadian pharmacy
HowardGow
Nicely put. Many thanks.
http://canadianonlinepharmacynnm.com/
no prescription pharmacies canada online pharmacies pharmacies in canada canadian pharmaceuticals online
pharmacy prescription
mexican online pharmacies
online canadian pharcharmy
online pharmacy no prescription
online canadian pharmacy
pharmacy without dr prescriptions
HowardGow
Nicely expressed certainly. !
http://talahicc.com/
canadian pharmacies online canada pharmacy online canada pharmacies online prescriptions canadian pharmacies
online pharmacies no prescription
canada pharmacy online
no prescription pharmacies
no prior prescription required pharmacy
best non prescription online pharmacies
canadian pharmacy meds
HowardGow
You stated this exceptionally well.
http://www.canadianpharmacymsn.com/
prescription without a doctor’s prescription canadian viagra rx pharmacy global pharmacy canada
prescription drugs online without doctor
prescription drugs canada
canadadrugs.com pharmacy
prescription online
best canadian prescription prices
prescription drugs online without doctor
HowardGow
Superb stuff. Appreciate it.
http://canadianpharmaciesnnm.com/
prescription drug cost northwest pharmacy canadadrugs north west pharmacy canada
canadian pharmacies top best
drugs without prescription
best canadian online pharmacy
canada drug pharmacy
online pharmacies
canadapharmacy
HowardGow
This is nicely put. .
http://canadianonlinepharmacynnm.com/
prescription drug canadian online pharmacies buy drugs online aarp approved canadian online pharmacies
canadian pharmacy meds
visit poster’s website
canadian pharmacy no prescription needed
online pharmacy canada
rx pharmacy
safeway pharmacy
HowardGow
Truly loads of very good material.
http://canadianpharmacysilo.com/
best online pharmacies canada canadianpharmacy international pharmacies that ship to the usa northwest pharmacy
online canadian pharcharmy
canadian pharmacy online canada
canada online pharmacies
canadapharmacy
international pharmacy
pharmacy price comparison
HowardGow
Cheers! Very good stuff.
http://canadianpharmaciesnnm.com/
canada pharmacy no prescription mexican pharmacies shipping to usa pharmacy prescription northwestpharmacy
canada pharmacies prescription drugs
canadian cialis
canadian drugs without prescription
cheap prescription drugs online
canadapharmacy
drugs from canada
HowardGow
Cheers! Helpful stuff.
http://canadianpharmaciescubarx.com/
northwest pharmacy canadian pharmacy online best price prescription drugs online pharmacies of canada
canada pharmacy online orders
pharmacy online mexico
canadian mail order pharmacies
pharmacy online store
drugs for sale
no prescription pharmacy
HowardGow
Nicely put. With thanks.
http://www.canadianpharmacymsn.com/
safeway pharmacy canadian pharmacies without an rx canadian drugstore online aarp approved canadian online pharmacies
canada pharmacy online
pharmacy without dr prescriptions
buying drugs canada
best online international pharmacies
canadian drugs
canada pharmacy online
HowardGow
You stated it perfectly.
http://canadianpharmaciesnnm.com/
overseas pharmacies london drugs canada pharmacy tech canadianpharmacy
compare rx prices
pharmacies near me
meds online
best online canadian pharcharmy
international pharmacy
prescription drugs online without doctor
HowardGow
Great write ups. Thanks.
http://canadianpharmacysilo.com/
discount prescription drugs online canadian online pharmacies prescription drugs canada canada drug
online prescription drugs
cheap canadian drugs
24 hour pharmacy
canada drugs pharmacy
canadian meds
canada pharmacy online reviews
HowardGow
Thank you, A lot of info.
http://canadianpharmacysilo.com/
pharmacy cost comparison canadian pharmacies without an rx pharmacy online canadian pharcharmy
best price prescription drugs
northwest pharmacy
canadian pharmacies without prescriptions
trusted overseas pharmacies
drug costs
buy drugs online
HowardGow
Wow plenty of valuable data!
http://canadianpharmacymim.com/
best online international pharmacies canada pharmaceuticals online overseas pharmacy forum online pharmacies of canada
us pharmacy no prior prescription
canadian pharmacy without prescription
canadadrugs
canadapharmacyonline com
canadian meds
pharmacy cost comparison
Quentintag
Regards. Numerous material.
http://canadianonlinepharmacynnm.com/
canada pharmacy online orders canadian pharmacies that ship to us rx online canadian pharmacies-24h
discount prescription drugs online
prescription drugs without prior prescription
prescription online
prescription drug price comparison
prescription drugs online without doctor
prescription drug
Quentintag
You actually reported it exceptionally well.
http://canadianpharmacysilo.com/
pharmacy cost comparison northwestpharmacy canada pharmacy no prescription northwest pharmacy
canadian pharmacy without prescription
online pharmacies
canadapharmacy com
best online pharmacies canada
prescription drugs without prior prescription
prescription drugs without prior prescription
Quentintag
Nicely put, Appreciate it.
http://canadianonlinepharmacynnm.com/
canada drug canadian pharmacies-24h canadian viagra canada pharmaceutical online ordering
canadapharmacyonline com
prescription pricing
canadian pharmacy 365
overseas pharmacy forum
pharmacy online
prescription drug cost
Quentintag
Great information. Many thanks!
http://canadianpharmacysilo.com/
drugs from canada canadian pharmaceuticals online canadian online pharmacies canadianpharmacy
discount pharmacy online
pharmacy price compare
canadian pharmacies shipping to usa
canadianpharmacy
ed meds online
best online pharmacy stores
Quentintag
Thanks a lot. I appreciate it!
http://canadianpharmacymim.com/
canadian drugstore canadian pharmacies without an rx candrugstore com canadian online pharmacies
canadadrugs
onlinecanadianpharmacy.com
buy prescription drugs from canada
reputable canadian mail order pharmacies
prescription drugs online without
drugs online
Quentintag
This is nicely said. !
http://www.canadianpharmacymsn.com/
24 hour pharmacy canadian pharmacy no prescription online pharmacy canadian pharmacy
canadadrugs.com pharmacy
costco pharmacy pricing
price prescription drugs
rx pharmacy
drugs for sale
drugstore online
Quentintag
Position certainly considered!.
http://canadianpharmacysilo.com/
cialis online canada pharmaceutical online ordering mail order pharmacies online pharmacies canada
safeway pharmacy
pain meds online without doctor prescription
best canadian online pharmacy
pharmacies near me
canadian viagra
canada meds
Quentintag
Terrific advice. Kudos!
http://canadianpharmaciesnnm.com/
canada pharmacy online orders canadian pharmacy online canadian pharmacy reviews canadian pharmacies without an rx
canadian pharmacies shipping to usa
canada drug prices
canadian online pharmacy
canadian pharmacies top best
24 hour pharmacy
canada pharmacies online
Quentintag
Really plenty of beneficial knowledge!
https://nicktambone.com/
prescription online canadian pharmacy online canadian prescription drugs canadian cialis
canadian pharmacy
best online international pharmacies
top rated online canadian pharmacies
mexican pharmacy online medications
online canadian discount pharmacy
online canadian pharmacies
Quentintag
Whoa many of excellent advice.
http://canadianpharmacysilo.com/
prescription drugs prices top rated canadian pharmacies online canada pharmacies canadian pharmacies without an rx
online pharmacies
canadian pharmacies that ship to us
mexican pharmacy online medications
mail order pharmacy
online prescription drugs
pharmacy drug store
Quentintag
Nicely put. Regards.
http://talahicc.com/
pharmacy prices online pharmacies canada best canadian online pharmacy canadian viagra
medication costs
discount pharmacy
canada online pharmacy
canadian pharmacies shipping to usa
legitimate canadian mail order pharmacies
pharmacy online mexico
Quentintag
Amazing data, With thanks!
https://nicktambone.com/
best online pharmacies canada trust pharmacy canada canadian pharmacy no prescription top rated canadian pharmacies online
overseas pharmacies
buy prescription drugs online
best online international pharmacies
canadian discount pharmacy
canadian pharmacies shipping to usa
buy online prescription drugs
Quentintag
Thank you, Great information!
http://canadianpharmaciescubarx.com/
canadian drugstore aarp approved canadian online pharmacies canadian pharmacy uk delivery canadian online pharmacies
discount drugs online pharmacy
board of pharmacy
canadian drug stores online
prescription drugs online without
canadian pharmacy viagra
prescription drugs online without doctor
Quentintag
Appreciate it. Numerous information.
http://canadianpharmacyntx.com/
canadian online pharmacies prescription drugs canadian drugs pharmacy near me canadian pharmacies
canada drugs online
medication costs
canadian pharmacies online prescriptions
web medical information
onlinecanadianpharmacy.com
canadian prescription
Quentintag
Helpful tips. Regards!
http://canadianpharmacysilo.com/
pain meds online without doctor prescription canadian pharmaceuticals online canadian rx pharmacy online canadianpharmacy
medication costs
canadian discount pharmacy
canadian pharmacy uk delivery
best online pharmacy stores
canada drug pharmacy
drug stores near me
Quentintag
Nicely put, Kudos!
http://canadianpharmaciesnnm.com/
canada drugs pharmacy canada pharmaceuticals online best online pharmacy canada drugs
northwestpharmacy
pharmacy prices compare
pharmacy price comparison
canadian pharmacy no prescription
pharmacy without dr prescriptions
cheap drugs online
Quentintag
Thanks a lot! Ample tips!
https://nicktambone.com/
canada drugs online northwest pharmacy best canadian online pharmacy canadian pharcharmy
my canadian pharmacy
cheap prescription drugs online
best online international pharmacies
canadian pharmacies without prescriptions
canadian pharmacies that are legit
buying drugs canada
Quentintag
You actually said it very well!
http://canadianpharmacymim.com/
no prior prescription required pharmacy canadian pharcharmy walmart pharmacy price check canadian cialis
canadian drug
no prior prescription required pharmacy
mexican pharmacy online
online pharmacy without prescription
reputable canadian mail order pharmacies
canadapharmacy com
Quentintag
You definitely made the point.
http://canadianpharmaciesnnm.com/
pharmacy cost comparison canada pharmaceuticals online discount prescription drugs online canada drugs
canada pharmacy online no script
mexican pharmacies
canadian drugs
mexican pharmacy online
northwest pharmacy
canadian pharmacies online
Quentintag
Beneficial data. Thanks.
http://canadianonlinepharmacynnm.com/
board of pharmacy canada drug canadapharmacyonline com canadian pharmacies online
drugs from canada
canadian prescriptions
mexican pharmacies online
online canadian pharmacy
pharmacy without dr prescriptions
get prescription online
Quentintag
You actually said it really well!
http://canadianpharmacysilo.com/
pharmacy price compare canadian pharmacies best canadian online pharmacy mexican pharmacies shipping to usa
prescription drug cost
canadapharmacyonline com
canadian pharmacy without prescription
discount drugs online pharmacy
online prescription drugs
canadian online pharmacies
Quentintag
Thanks a lot. I value it.
http://talahicc.com/
prescription drugs without doctor approval canadian pharcharmy canadian drugs canada drug
canada pharmacy no prescription
canada drugs online
canadian pharmacies
canadian pharmacies that are legit
overseas pharmacies
online pharmacy reviews
Quentintag
You mentioned it well.
http://canadianpharmaciescubarx.com/
canadian pharmacies without prescriptions canada pharmacy online canadianpharmacy canada drugs
legitimate canadian mail order pharmacies
mexican pharmacy online
cialis canadian pharmacy
prescription drug
canada pharmacies online
pharmacy price compare
Quentintag
You have made the point!
http://www.canadianpharmacymsn.com/
prescription prices comparison canada pharmaceuticals online canada drugs canada drugs online
canada drugs
canadian pharmacy reviews
pharmacy price compare
online pharmacy canada
online pharmacies
legitimate online pharmacies
Quentintag
Nicely put, Appreciate it!
http://canadianpharmacymim.com/
online pharmacy no prescription canada pharmaceutical online ordering mexican online pharmacies online pharmacies of canada
international pharmacies that ship to the usa
online canadian pharmacies
<a href="http://analogdesignstudio.com/?s=You+said+that+terrifically%21+https%3A%2F%2Fnicktambone.com%2F+canadian+drugstore+online+canadian+pharmacies+no+1+canadian+pharcharmy+online+canadian+viagra+%0D%0Acanadian+mail+order+pharmacies+%0D%0Acanadian+viagra+%0D%0Acanadian+pharmacy+reviews+%0D%0Acanadian+pharmacy+no+prescription+needed+%0D%0Atrust+pharmacy+canada+%0D%0Aprescription+drugs+prices”>prescription drug cost
canadian pharmacies without prescriptions
top rated canadian pharmacies online
drugs without prescription
Quentintag
You said this very well!
http://talahicc.com/
canadian pharmacies online prescriptions canada drugs online pharmacy without dr prescriptions canadian online pharmacies
no prior prescription required pharmacy
best price prescription drugs
online pharmacies no prescription
canadapharmacyonline com
drugs online
online pharmacies no prescription
Quentintag
Nicely put. Regards!
http://canadianonlinepharmacynnm.com/
pharmacy canada canadian pharmacies buy prescription drugs online canada pharmacy
international pharmacy
no 1 canadian pharcharmy online
canada pharmacy online reviews
canada pharmacies online pharmacy
canadian drugs
cheap prescription drugs online
Quentintag
You have made your point.
http://www.canadianpharmacymsn.com/
mexican pharmacy online medications london drugs canada medication costs north west pharmacy canada
best price prescription drugs
online pharmacy without prescription
pharmacy price comparison
discount pharmaceuticals
online discount pharmacy
pharmacy near me
Quentintag
With thanks. Useful stuff.
http://canadianpharmaciesnnm.com/
the canadian pharmacy canadian pharmacies without an rx king pharmacy canada online pharmacies
canadian drugstore online
canada pharmacies without script
safeway pharmacy
mail order pharmacy
rx price comparison
drug prices comparison
Quentintag
Cheers! Useful information!
http://canadianpharmaciescubarx.com/
drug price canada pharmacy canadian drugstore online aarp approved canadian online pharmacies
canada pharmacy
canadian rx pharmacy online
online pharmacies canada
canada drug prices
canadian cialis
buy online prescription drugs
Quentintag
You said it very well..
http://www.canadianpharmacymsn.com/
compare rx prices north west pharmacy canada canadian online pharmacies canadian pharmacies online
drug costs
us pharmacy no prior prescription
online pharmacy
top rated canadian pharmacies online
canadian online pharmacy reviews
prescription drug price comparison
Quentintag
Kudos! Plenty of write ups!
http://canadianonlinepharmacynnm.com/
onlinecanadianpharmacy.com canadian pharmacy overseas pharmacies london drugs canada
mail order pharmacy
online rx pharmacy
prescription drugs canada
cheap prescription drugs
prescription drug assistance
onlinecanadianpharmacy.com
Quentintag
Awesome material, Many thanks!
http://canadianpharmacyntx.com/
rx online canadianpharmacy drugs without prescription mexican pharmacies shipping to usa
mexican pharmacy online
online canadian pharcharmy
canada drug
no prescription pharmacies
trusted overseas pharmacies
top rated online canadian pharmacies
Quentintag
You reported this effectively!
http://talahicc.com/
canada pharmacy canada drugs canadian prescription drugstore canada pharmacy online
pharmacy price comparison
canada pharmacies without script
best online international pharmacies
medical information online
prescription cost comparison
cheap prescription drugs online
Quentintag
You said it very well.!
http://canadianpharmacysilo.com/
canadian online pharmacies canada drugs online canadian online pharmacies northwestpharmacy
mexican pharmacy online medications
cialis online
prescription cost comparison
get prescription online
best online pharmacies canada
online pharmacies no prescription