The Deliriousdadd is an ever changing story about a man (me) and his journey through fatherhood. I have been writing/blogging for about 7 months. I work full time in the construction/real estate industry helping people get back on their feet after a catastrophic loss. I also own and manage several commercial real estate properties. I am unsure as to how I got into blogging as I usually like to keep to myself when it comes to sharing my thoughts and opinions about personal things especially something as personal as parenting. However once I became a parent I was given a life changing opportunity to share my insight through the Life of Dad web/blog community. Blogging became something I began to take seriously and started to share my experience, or in many cases, lack of. I am now able to write about the joys, failures, trials and tribulations in the hopes that it would help other fathers out there who are just starting out, to see that they were not alone in their struggles both physically and more importantly mentally and emotionally. Writing for my friend’s site Life Of Dad has given me the outlet I very much needed to vent without being too harshly judged for what I say. Writing for me, even though I am not a full time stay at home father or “SAHD Blogger” has become therapeutic and allowed me to meet other dads who are just like me. Whether they are working their butts off at home, at work or in alot of cases BOTH, to give their kids a great life.
My family: I have been with the same wonderful woman for over 16 years, married for half of them. We met in college and never looked back (she was the one who actually picked ME up at a party). We just recently had our first child, our now 2 year old daughter whom has changed our lives forever. I grew up one of 4 boys, so having a daughter is both scary as hell and rewarding all at the same time. My brother had a daughter that I helped take care of a lot because he was in the military so that experience helped me realize I was ready and able to be a father. It is the main reason I have a child today.
Probably the largest challenge I have being a father has to be balancing it all. Balancing the work, the relationship with my wife, the time I want to spend with my daughter and all the while being a strong father/man for our family. Being a parent, whether you are a mom or a dad takes a strength that you don’t know you have until you need it. It was hard for me to transition from a SAHD to a working father because of the bond that I had created with my daughter. It took weeks if not months of being depressed about being at work instead of with my daughter where I felt I needed to be more. Time has a way of helping with all of that as well as knowing that by going to work and providing a good life for my family is just as important, although being there is much more fun. I would be lying to you if I told you I had a solid hold on balancing the demands that life puts on you as a parent. I think what has worked for me and my family is trying to incorporate it as much as possible. We attend family friendly functions and we bring our daughter with us to as many things as possible. I mean my wife and I enjoy a date night every so often or a guys night and vice a versa, but outside of keeping work to a 8-5 and then spending the rest of the time working on the family. It’s still a work in progress…. Sorry no sage advice on this one, its whatever works for you.
Some of the best advice i can give to any father is to “Be there” Work will be there the rest of your life, so will sports and there will be time to drink beer with your friends, although it does get harder to find the time. I personally feel that the early years that you dedicate the time and energy to your child/children will pay you back 100000x later in life, or at least I hope it does. I think a lot of us grew up as “latch key kids” and we didn’t have the time with our parents we maybe wanted. I know when I used to teach HS I could see it in my students. Time, my friends, is one thing that we can never get back no matter how rich we are. Spend time with your family it’s a wonderful investment that pays the best dividends.
I have definitely learned a lot from interacting with other fathers that are either existing friends but also from the blogging community as a whole. I learned is that it’s ok to still be a big kid, albeit a responsible one, but it’s OK to still do fun stuff with your kids and to act like a big dork. I think I have more fun now as a dad than I did when I was a kid, i don’t know, maybe it’s because we can still relate to our kids by using technology. I have also learned that we all want the best for our kids and that being scared or unsure of something is normal. It’s a good feeling having a support network like the ones that are out there in the form of the blogging communities like Dad Bloggers.
I would like to think that all my experiences as a father have made me a better man. Every day I look at this little girl that needs so much from me and my wife and I know that I have to be there for her to make sure that she is taken care of. I think about all the little things that she does that makes my heart swell and can’t imagine my life without her. It makes me mad to think I waited as long as I did to have her. One last thing about this question, I believe that being a father has helped to put things in perspective and allowed me to better prioritize my life so I can be the parent/father I need to be. However I know that I am not perfect and I have my problems like everyone else. Its just working through those things and not allowing them to affect how you raise your kids. Watching my daughter grow and how smart she is already has to be one of the most rewarding things to see. I swear to you that she can pretty much operate an I phone/I pad better than some adults. It is amazing to see the wheels turning in her little head. I hope that she grows up knowing that she is as smart as she is beautiful. Watching her learn to do new things, say new words and grow as a little person fills me with a pride that just cannot be explained.
I hope that this website allows you to enjoy parenting a little more with my help. i hope to provide engaging, funny and relevant content. The site will always be growing and changing with, i hope, your help. Please feel free to comment, share and contribute as much as you would like. Thank you!!
AKA – Deliriousdadd